You are not alone if you fear or worry about what others think of you.  Even as early as middle school,  tweens can easily relate to what it means to the belong as compared to feeling like they fit in.  Adults, teens, and tweens alike know when they are free to be themselves in contrast to what and how they should talk, look, talk, and act in the various family, social, academic, and career arenas.

Why do we worry and fear about what others think of us?  When what we want most is to be deeply connected to the people that are most important to us and have an impact on the areas of of the life that are most meaningful and rewarding for us: relationships, parenthood, professional identity, health, and/or spirituality.   Part of the answer can be found in our fear of being and feeling vulnerable.

What is vulnerability?

Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness ~ Brene Brown.

Everyone is susceptible to feeling vulnerable.  Most of us are going to great lengths to protect ourselves from feeling vulnerable via perfectionism, people pleasing, and pushing through at any cost even with our health and at the cost of our own values and damaging relationships.  Even though people are struggling with vulnerability, it is rarely discussed along with its close partners in crime: shame and fear.

Vulnerability-Brene-Brown

 

When I start exploring these feelings and experiences with clients, I often share Brene Brown’s work.  She is a researcher, storyteller, and expert in vulnerability, fear, shame, and courage.  She has an incredible capacity to language people’s experiences and feelings, and people often deeply connect to her words.  My client is starting to talk around/about vulnerability, I will offer Brene’s first TEDx talk on The Power of Vulnerability.

After watching this TEDx talk, I would like to hear how you connected with it.  Tell me in the comments section below.

I am also being trained by Brene Brown and her Connections Team.  If you are interested in working with me individually or in group with me and Jen Kogan, please call 202.540.0796 or email me amy@tatsumiandjones.com for a free 15 minute consultation on how we might be able to work together.