Cultivating Practices

Synchronicity

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Is it me or does there seem to be a lot of buzz around the concept of “synchronicity” lately?

Coined by the late Carl Jung, the term refers to concept of an outward occurrence coinciding with one’s internal state of being with no causal relationship. I find myself experiencing synchronicity in regards to my experiences of synchronicity! And I find if this is an experience I am having, there are inevitably numerous others with similar occurrences happening in their lives.

Today I had a wild energetic alignment around the idea of baby steps towards growth and setting intentions, healthy patterns of behavior, and creating positive future memories. I know, POSITIVE FUTURE MEMORIES, pretty fantastic idea, right?!!! This idea was introduced to me by a recent trainer, a strategy employed in therapy to begin to create and then reinforce positive possibilities in your brain.

In the car as I drove to my office, listening to story on personal finances, something I rarely spend my energy learning or paying attention to, I was struck by the similarities between the teachings of this financial guru and those taught in the many lenses of strength based psychological treatment. While I did not catch the name of this financial guru, I am grateful for the synchronistic universal reinforcement of these new concepts into my life.

Here are the tenets that keep showing up regarding building a healthy future; I am hopeful you have the opportunity to gain and discuss these tenets as well:

  1. Small Consistent Steps – long term growth in whatever arena of live is best done in small steps rather than leaps and bounds. Consistent small steps towards positive change is bound to create growth over the long term.
  2. Positive Future Memories – Set intentions towards a positive future memory. Keeping your focus in the present on decision making that will lead towards positive change in the long term is key. Every moment can contribute to overall good health, whether it is physical, emotional, career, or financial health.
  3. Confidence – confidence is only built by repeated experiences of success. You have to gain knowledge and learn in order to be successful. Be curious, educate yourself, so that you can build the confidence you need to take steps towards growth.
  4. Front Loading – Long term success often involves a difficult period of front-loading. You have to put in the work in the beginning to reap the benefits. Expect and appreciate your hard work in the beginning part of any process. There is always a learning curve.
  5. Process Over Product – and finally, enjoy the process. No matter how difficult it is, you will gain more from enjoying the process, the ups and the downs, rather than agonizing over perceived losses or downs. After all, we are only guaranteed the present moment. Building attachments to outcome can potentially lead to great disappointment and losing sight of the gifts you have in the now.

What ideas and signs have been showing up for you lately?

How does synchronicity expressed itself in your life?

To welcoming synchronicity,

Kim Ottinger

To schedule a free 20 minute phone consult with Kim for art therapy, talk therapy, or sensoriotor therapy or to explore change and synchronicity in Washington, DC, email her at kim@yoursoultherapy.com

Walking My Talk…Dreaming Big

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As a woman, wife, mother, psychotherapist, supervisor, and business owner, practicing self care is a must. Over the past few years, I have worked to align myself with my values with much gratitude to The Daring Way community, the metaphysical teachings of Tosha Silver and my Jungian analyst for this. Cultivating practices that are embedded with vulnerability, courage, connection, integrity, rest, play, awe and wonder keep me honest, grounded, and real. I #walkmytalk and this has changed my personal and professional life beyond my wildest dreams. I live into heart-mind-body-soul wisdom in daily practices and decisions, as well as big huge vulnerable leaps (like writing this blog post). My vulnerability is guided by aligning with my values and a force much larger than me. This way of living and showing up in the world is an imperfect process that I wouldn’t have any other way.

When working with women in psychotherapy, art therapy, sandplay, urban retreats, supervision, consultation, or practice building, I support them through the lens of walking their own talk. My clients learn to source themselves from the inside out into their deep confidence. Each woman’s flow, process and outcomes are unique, but what they have been seeking or felt blocked by (fear, shame, failure, impostor syndrome, heartbreak, loneliness…) dissolves through through this work. Witnessing their transformations is the most profound work of my life and of the deepest honor.

I have taken the leap to share more about how I work today because I’m on the brink of taking one the biggest professional leap’s of my career. Tomorrow, I am headed to Costa Rica for a business retreat filled with all things wanderlust, sisterhood, yoga, big dreaming, horseback riding, surfing, waterfalls, and beyond. My intentions are to recharge, replenish, reconnect, surrender, and be open to receiving. I hope to return to pay forward this experience by offering my own retreat later this year.  I will be fully unplugged for the next week.  I would love to connect with you for a free 20 minute phone consult when I return on 3/10.  Email me amy@amytatsumi.com to schedule your consult.

~In walking my talk & dreaming big,
Amy

Not All Who Wander Are Lost

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Not All Who Wander Are Lost – J. R. R. Tolkien

I have always been a wanderer.  From an early age, I wandered in the garden and forest.  By my late teens, I began traveling to many places inside and outside of the US seeking a myriad of things.  Through my 20s and early 30s, I continued to be a seeker of sorts in my personal and professional life.  Throughout that period, I didn’t know what I was seeking (even with lots of amazing adventures or thoughtful sessions with my own therapist), but my heart longed for something I didn’t know how to name or even imagine.  It wasn’t until I started to learn how to wander inside of my life and story (not matter where I geographically lived or worked) that I knew what I was seeking.

So what does belonging look like now for me-professionally? Until 2 years ago, I would have never imagined standing before my colleagues, mentors and well esteemed experts in my field presenting on my perspective because belonging felt so evasive an inaccessible to me.  Last week at the American Art Therapy Conference in San Antonio, I co-presented with Megan Robb and Lisa Thompson-Gibson on Building Relationships with Authenticity and Vulnerability from a theoretical lens (Relational Cultural Theory & Shame Resilience Theory) and in practice with clients and supervisees.  Presenting on vulnerability and sharing a part of my story and perspective with colleagues felt (by no surprise)  incredibly vulnerable for me.   How did I get through this presentation?  I was able to anchor myself to my sense of belonging.  I belong to my professional community even if what I was sharing was different or even radical.  It mattered because I was offering opportunities for relationship building for therapists with clients, supervisors with supervisees, and for therapist outside of the therapy room.

So many of us have a wanderlust or longing for something deep in our souls.  Most of the clients that I see have been wandering for much of their lives – wanting confirmation to know that they matter and are worthy of love and belonging.  Their studies, research, careers, love for travel, or relationships have taken them to many places.  Their intercultural experiences have transformed them, but no matter how much they enjoy the journey – they struggle to know how to really belong.

How do we learn to belong?  Some of the keys to trusting ourselves around  knowing how to love and belong can be found in cultivating practices of vulnerability and authenticity.  As adults and even teens, we have often lost touch with knowing how to trust our selves or what it means to be real, vulnerable and authentic in boundaried and meaningful ways with people that we care about most or even how this might look in our professional world.  Learning to trust ourselves through boundaried vulnerability and authenticity can be taught.  In learning how to trust ourselves, we can also learn how to belong even to our own hearts.

As this time of year lends itself to wandering, you may want to take time while you are wandering or at home relishing in your travels by journaling or making art to notice:
~Where your sense of belonging is (does it live inside or outside of you and your story)?
~How you are trusting yourself on your journey or in your relationships?
~How do your boundaries allow you to be more or less vulnerable and authentic?
~What are small steps you can take  or clearer boundaries can you set to support your sense of belonging?

Whether you are wandering or at home this summer, make time to navigate back to your own heart and sense of belonging no mater where you may be.

P.S.- If you’re looking to dig deeper this summer, I’m offering a 2.5 day weekend intensive on belonging.