happiness

The Myth of Laziness – 4 STEPS TO MOTIVATE YOURSELF IN YOUR CAREER LIFE

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“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting” 

– The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

Do you often label yourself as LAZY? Do you feel like a FRAUD at work?

Do you find yourself needing to hyper focus for several hours a day at work just to get it done, and then you become distracted by social media, reading article upon article on news and entertainment, or better yet, Tetris.  As you count the hours you ACTUALLY WORK at work, you notice a trend of many many seemingly wasted hours. You feel that you should be feeling thankful for a job that is well paying and high up the ladder, yet you find yourself feeling lazy.

Perhaps you’re lack of focus and laziness is something else.

Maybe your bouts of hyper focus and laziness are more about a lack of interest in your work, need for a challenge, and a need to escape. Often, when we are not stimulated enough, we become uninterested, unmotivated. So we need more stimulation and challenge. If you imagine yourself in a job you love and are passionate about, do you see yourself often escaping to Tetris and social media, or will you be too busy and focused on building your dream to be concerned with time wasters?

Or maybe you feel motivated by your sense of self-worth. Very often we are driven by a need to feel “good enough” rather than a wish to be self-compassionate and live out our personal dreams. This wish to be “good enough” is integrated into our sense of self-worth at a very young age and is difficult to consciously see. Take a moment and notice, DO YOU TAKE ACTION TO FULFILL YOUR DREAMS AND NOURISH YOUR SOUL OR DO YOU DO IN ORDER TO FEEL GOOD ENOUGH AND AVOID FAILURE?

Let’s recategorize your laziness to domains a) lack of motivation and b) a need to escape some aspect of your work environment and c) a need for dreams, challenges, and stimulation. Filling the different domains of your life with fulfilling, soul nourishing activities are the seeds to growing joy and contentment in your moment to moment and lifelong path.

Here are some basic ways to start building motivation, taking steps towards a life in which you will no longer label yourself as lazy. A life in which it is possible to enjoy, be financially supported by, and feel fulfilled by your career. Listen to your heart space and intuition – embrace your dreams.

1 Identify a Long Term Vision. 

Create a list of all the career goals you want to achieve in your life (as we are talking about career aspirations, we will focus on this, though you may substitute career goals with other types of goals and/or values). Examples include helping others, leadership roles, owning a business, charitable donations, discovery, traveling, financial stability, creative endeavors, etc. Take no more than 5 minutes to narrow your goals to no more than 3 using your gut. Write out your 3 top goals on a piece of paper.

2 Vision and Visualize

Place your goals in a place you can see daily and every morning allow your mind to come back to this vision and further flush it out. Take time here and there to meditate on it and visualize the details and concrete vision of this future career path. Perhaps it lines up with your current career, or maybe it is very different.

3 Materialize your Vision

Create a plan for action. What steps will you take to work towards this goal? Networking, workplace interviews, research, consultation calls? Daily life will continually try to get in the way of your dreams, you will have to make some time and space to materialize your vision. Allow the plan to be loose yet be committed. If you are unable to meet deadlines you set for yourself, be compassionate and continue to work towards your vision. Notice your blocks, pursue support to move past blocks, ask for help rather than self-sabotaging.

4 Check in with your Self-Talk 

Notice how your self-talk has changed now that you are working towards a dream. When you feed your soul – the energy resonates, and reverberates. You will see the difference this makes in your internal world as well as your external, your soul nourishing energy will magnetize to those with similar presence. You deserve to make your dream a reality.

I know this plan works because it is my reality. With some dreaming, visioning, hard work, and trust in divine power, I am now living my dreams and more. I love my work, I feel joyful when I arrive at my office, financially stable, and feel highly fulfilled by my work on a soul level. I share my experiences with my clients, generosity plus boundaries breeds joy. I am honored to help you manifest your dreams. 

 

To dreaming & living big,

Kim Ottinger

To schedule a free 20 minute phone consult with Kim for art therapy, talk therapy, or sensoriotor therapy or to explore a career transition in Washington, DC, email her at kim@yoursoultherapy.com

STEPPING OUT OF THE STORY

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I know my old story.

It is :: I AM BROKEN.

And even before that it is :: I AM NOT WORTHY.

The stigma of having been divorced, the first of my friends and in my age group to do so, often bites at my heals, begging for me to pick it up and ride the downward spiral of WHAT IFs and SHOULDS. 

What if I tried harder to make the relationship work?
What if I wasn’t tolerant enough of my husband’s behavior?
What if I had staged an intervention?

I should have been able to see it sooner and leave…I wasted so many years.

I should have known, as a therapist, what my husband’s issues and my issues were.

I should have been able to help myself.

I should be married with children now.

And then the WHYs come parading into my brain in an endless stream of existential confusion.

Why have I been given this life?
Why must I go through these trials?
Why can’t I have the family I dreamed of as a child?
Why do they teach us fairy tales as children if that is not the script of reality?
Why didn’t anyone see what was wrong and tell me to leave the relationship?
Why can’t I get it right?

How long have I held this belief of unworthiness? Where did it start? Why is it so hard to shake?

I get lost in the story and forget to breathe. I look at the clock and I see how much precious time I have wasted trying to figure out an answer to the uncertainty of life. The unsolvable.

Then I melt into the embrace of unknowing and uncertainty, gratitude towards my path, trusting that I am headed in the direction I am supposed to be going. The anxiety and groundlessness ends as I sink into my feet, allowing the energy to disperse throughout my limbs and trunk, loosening my grip physically and mentally. I take a few moments to notice the peace I am currently surrounded by, the smell, the image, the sounds. I send an energetic bow of thanks to the universe for giving me the journey I am on, appreciating the highs and lows, the experience as a whole.

To say it no longer hits me would be a lie. I can, with strong conviction, assert that it hits me much less often and for short increments of time before I identify it, kiss it, and say goodbye. I trust my path. Only with time and practice have I learned to tune into this power, my power, my own intuition drawn from my feminine divine energy. 

I invite you to tune into your feminine divine energy to step out of your story when you can. To end the cycle of rumination over the unsolvable and unknowable and instead to tune into and be grateful for what you have now.

To tuning into the Divine Feminine in you, me & us,

Kim Ottinger

To schedule a free 20 minute consultation for art therapy, talk therapy or sensorimotor psychotherapy to begin the process stepping out of the story, email kim@yoursoultherapy.com

Energy Warps

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Time is the only commodity at which I consistently grasp for. No matter how enlightened I am feeling, I still feel the nagging pull of precious time and the seconds passing before my eyes. As I fight for time to slow and bargain to fit in just a few more things before my heavy eyelids close involuntarily, I have yet to learn the secret to controlling time.

Today, I witnessed in full awareness as I entered a threshold and shortly after exited an energy warp where my soul was deeply met and felt in a psychospiritual way. No matter which lens I view this the words are not quite there to describe it.

Energy flew around in my mind and body as if unconstrained by my self-limiting structural beliefs or rigid goal focused thinking. Creativity bounced through my entire being and time did not hold me back. I made connections and conclusions on an intuitive and cognitive level at a speed exponentially faster than normal.  I have felt this before, though not with the same clarity or awareness as with this experience.

Curiously, I examined the trigger or source of this wonderful experience. Several precursors were in place: a weekend of learning and growing, self-care, and positive energy connections. I spent this past weekend learning a new way of working, in awe of the incredible experiences of the trainer and my cohort. Learning, growing, making new neural pathways. Additionally, I work hard to take care of my mind, body, and spirit.

And in the moment leading up to my energy warp, I was impacted, felt moved by and then resonated with the positive inertia of my client’s energy. She reveled in the progress she was making, and we celebrated her experience. We shared the savoring of her experience, enjoying the joy and exploring the new space it opened in her heart, her new free flowing energy.

The concoction of these three conditions consistently brought me into this state through the threshold into an energy warp, a period of soul enlightenment.

I invite you to walk with me and inviting this concoction into your own life. 

What is your experience of energy warps, spiritual states or similar experiences?

What precursors and conditions encourage this joyful and enlightening type of experience for you?

In exploring the expansive connected energy in you and me,

Kim Ottinger

Connect with me for a free 20 minute phone consultation for art therapy, psychotherapy, and/or sensorimotor psychotherapy by emailing me at kim@yoursoultherapy.com

Waiting…

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Sometimes I forget this little nugget of wisdom.

And every single time I encounter it again it feels like a slap in the face.

The moment of shame passes as I notice the possible suffering I could put myself through by focusing on what I did not do right. And as I step out of the sticky grasping hands of shame, I lift my head up in gratitude to the universal energy that granted me this wisdom once again. Thankful for the chance to let go of another layer of limitation I have subconsciously placed on myself.

I wait.

I wait to feel happy.

One day I will have a family, then I can be happy. One day I will have the finances to feel secure and stable, then I can be happy. One day I will be turning away business, and then I can be happy. One day I will be able to completely trust my partner, and then I will be happy. One day I will reach this goal, one day I will reach that achievement.

 

One day, one day, one day.

 

This timeline for happiness exists subconsciously in my mind. Waiting for a future date before it can be released. Because I am a work in progress I cannot be fully happy today.

 

And then I snap out of it.

 

Today! Today I will be content with who I am and where I am headed no matter the future. I unleash my full potential for contentment, love, happiness, release of fears, and I embrace the uncertainty of now. I will not wait until that magical date in the future when I have achieved that goal. I have the gift of this present moment and I will live in it fully, imperfectly, no matter the outcome.

What are your magical timelines for happiness?

When will you allow yourself to enjoy the present?

To snapping out of it,

Kim

If you would like to release the waiting, email me at kim@yoursoultherapy.com to schedule a free 20 minute phone consult.