talk therapy

Synchronicity

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Is it me or does there seem to be a lot of buzz around the concept of “synchronicity” lately?

Coined by the late Carl Jung, the term refers to concept of an outward occurrence coinciding with one’s internal state of being with no causal relationship. I find myself experiencing synchronicity in regards to my experiences of synchronicity! And I find if this is an experience I am having, there are inevitably numerous others with similar occurrences happening in their lives.

Today I had a wild energetic alignment around the idea of baby steps towards growth and setting intentions, healthy patterns of behavior, and creating positive future memories. I know, POSITIVE FUTURE MEMORIES, pretty fantastic idea, right?!!! This idea was introduced to me by a recent trainer, a strategy employed in therapy to begin to create and then reinforce positive possibilities in your brain.

In the car as I drove to my office, listening to story on personal finances, something I rarely spend my energy learning or paying attention to, I was struck by the similarities between the teachings of this financial guru and those taught in the many lenses of strength based psychological treatment. While I did not catch the name of this financial guru, I am grateful for the synchronistic universal reinforcement of these new concepts into my life.

Here are the tenets that keep showing up regarding building a healthy future; I am hopeful you have the opportunity to gain and discuss these tenets as well:

  1. Small Consistent Steps – long term growth in whatever arena of live is best done in small steps rather than leaps and bounds. Consistent small steps towards positive change is bound to create growth over the long term.
  2. Positive Future Memories – Set intentions towards a positive future memory. Keeping your focus in the present on decision making that will lead towards positive change in the long term is key. Every moment can contribute to overall good health, whether it is physical, emotional, career, or financial health.
  3. Confidence – confidence is only built by repeated experiences of success. You have to gain knowledge and learn in order to be successful. Be curious, educate yourself, so that you can build the confidence you need to take steps towards growth.
  4. Front Loading – Long term success often involves a difficult period of front-loading. You have to put in the work in the beginning to reap the benefits. Expect and appreciate your hard work in the beginning part of any process. There is always a learning curve.
  5. Process Over Product – and finally, enjoy the process. No matter how difficult it is, you will gain more from enjoying the process, the ups and the downs, rather than agonizing over perceived losses or downs. After all, we are only guaranteed the present moment. Building attachments to outcome can potentially lead to great disappointment and losing sight of the gifts you have in the now.

What ideas and signs have been showing up for you lately?

How does synchronicity expressed itself in your life?

To welcoming synchronicity,

Kim Ottinger

To schedule a free 20 minute phone consult with Kim for art therapy, talk therapy, or sensoriotor therapy or to explore change and synchronicity in Washington, DC, email her at kim@yoursoultherapy.com

STEPPING OUT OF THE STORY

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I know my old story.

It is :: I AM BROKEN.

And even before that it is :: I AM NOT WORTHY.

The stigma of having been divorced, the first of my friends and in my age group to do so, often bites at my heals, begging for me to pick it up and ride the downward spiral of WHAT IFs and SHOULDS. 

What if I tried harder to make the relationship work?
What if I wasn’t tolerant enough of my husband’s behavior?
What if I had staged an intervention?

I should have been able to see it sooner and leave…I wasted so many years.

I should have known, as a therapist, what my husband’s issues and my issues were.

I should have been able to help myself.

I should be married with children now.

And then the WHYs come parading into my brain in an endless stream of existential confusion.

Why have I been given this life?
Why must I go through these trials?
Why can’t I have the family I dreamed of as a child?
Why do they teach us fairy tales as children if that is not the script of reality?
Why didn’t anyone see what was wrong and tell me to leave the relationship?
Why can’t I get it right?

How long have I held this belief of unworthiness? Where did it start? Why is it so hard to shake?

I get lost in the story and forget to breathe. I look at the clock and I see how much precious time I have wasted trying to figure out an answer to the uncertainty of life. The unsolvable.

Then I melt into the embrace of unknowing and uncertainty, gratitude towards my path, trusting that I am headed in the direction I am supposed to be going. The anxiety and groundlessness ends as I sink into my feet, allowing the energy to disperse throughout my limbs and trunk, loosening my grip physically and mentally. I take a few moments to notice the peace I am currently surrounded by, the smell, the image, the sounds. I send an energetic bow of thanks to the universe for giving me the journey I am on, appreciating the highs and lows, the experience as a whole.

To say it no longer hits me would be a lie. I can, with strong conviction, assert that it hits me much less often and for short increments of time before I identify it, kiss it, and say goodbye. I trust my path. Only with time and practice have I learned to tune into this power, my power, my own intuition drawn from my feminine divine energy. 

I invite you to tune into your feminine divine energy to step out of your story when you can. To end the cycle of rumination over the unsolvable and unknowable and instead to tune into and be grateful for what you have now.

To tuning into the Divine Feminine in you, me & us,

Kim Ottinger

To schedule a free 20 minute consultation for art therapy, talk therapy or sensorimotor psychotherapy to begin the process stepping out of the story, email kim@yoursoultherapy.com